Some days, you feel like you can handle anything. Other days, it feels like every single person around you is pushing your buttons—intentionally or not. The missed deadlines, the pointless bureaucracy, the passive-aggressive emails. The colleague who talks over you in meetings. The team member who ignores your instructions and does things their own way. The criticism that wasn’t even harsh, but still hits like a gut punch.
And suddenly, you’re done. You want to walk away, burn it all down, start over somewhere no one knows your name.
If you have ADHD, this cycle might feel painfully familiar. Leadership already comes with constant pressure, but when you add overwhelm, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), and compulsive tendencies, it can feel impossible to keep going.
When Everything Feels Like Too Much
ADHD brings incredible strengths—creativity, big-picture thinking, high energy when engaged. But it also comes with a nervous system that’s always on high alert. When things start going wrong (or even just feel like they are), your brain doesn’t just process them as problems to solve. It feels them intensely, sometimes disproportionately.
Overwhelm builds because:
- There’s too much stimulation. Noise, interruptions, constant demands—your brain struggles to filter what’s important, so everything feels urgent.
- Your RSD kicks in. A passing comment, a piece of neutral feedback, or even being left out of a conversation can feel like a personal attack.
- Compulsiveness takes over. You can’t let things go, so you overreact, over-explain, overwork, or hyperfocus on fixing something that may not even need fixing.
And when this happens repeatedly, burnout isn’t just possible—it’s inevitable. You start thinking, What’s the point? Why am I even doing this?
The ADHD Leadership Spiral
When you’re overwhelmed, your ADHD brain jumps into survival mode. You might:
- Withdraw completely – You disengage, stop responding, and avoid dealing with people.
- Overcompensate – You double down, work harder, try to fix everything, and micromanage to regain control.
- Get emotionally reactive – You snap, send the email you’ll regret later, or feel like you’re on the verge of quitting just to escape the stress.
None of these responses are wrong—they’re just signs that your brain is running on empty. You’re not weak, and you don’t lack leadership ability. You’re just dealing with a brain that processes stress, conflict, and frustration differently.
How Coaching Can Help You Stay in the Game
When you’re deep in the spiral, it’s hard to see a way out. Coaching helps you step back and make sense of what’s happening so you can regain control without burning yourself out.
- Recognizing patterns – You start to see when your buttons are being pushed and why, which helps you react differently.
- Reframing feedback and conflict – Instead of taking everything personally, you learn to assess situations objectively and respond rather than react.
- Developing regulation strategies – Coaching helps you create systems to manage overwhelm before it takes over.
- Compulsiveness management – You learn how to pause before overcommitting, overexplaining, or overworking in response to stress.
- Building resilience – The goal isn’t to never feel overwhelmed—it’s to recover faster and not let it derail you.
You don’t have to give up. You don’t have to quit just because today (or this week, or this month) feels unbearable. Leadership with ADHD isn’t about forcing yourself to be like everyone else—it’s about learning how to work with your brain instead of against it.
Some days will still be hard. But they don’t have to break you.